The End Already?

To find yourself, think for yourself.
- Socrates 


The duration of high school is a time in which many people begin to find themselves, and along with that their "niche" so to speak. It is also a time in which many people try to just follow the crowd; they conform to the norm-in relation to mindset and other actions. Now, you may be wondering how this relates to my blog post? Well, that's simple enough to answer, so here it is. As I read my blog posts, I noticed and pondered something rather surprising: my growth in character and in who I am greatly influenced my growth in writing, and my growth in writing in turn influenced my growth in character and personality. They seem to have a seemingly abstract correlation, but I feel it may even be more than that. Initially, I came into Honors English a bit nervous for the analytical writing aspect of the class, for it had never been one of my strongest abilities. Looking back upon this, I can clearly see my problem; I conformed to the mass of ideas in writing, I made only meager attempts at new ideas. I'm not quite sure why I didn't try for new ideas, for I guess you could say most of the time I'm a very anti-conformist person. I enjoy coming up with new creative ideas, however abstract they may be. The only reason for going along with the river of ideas in the beginning was my original impression that when analyzing any work of literature, there is only one or two acceptable answers. Again, looking back on this, I realize it was a struggle for me to not be using my creativity in my writing; for that reason I enjoy creative writing. One simple thing put the idea in my head that creativity can be used in analytical writing; just a more structured creativity. What opened this door to my writing were the blogs. Yes, the blogs. These were more conducive to being creative, because I wouldn't be hearing other answers, so I easily came up with my own. Seeing my good scores on these blogs, I became cognizant of the fact that my creativity on these was working. I implemented this in my paragraph and essay writing. All of a sudden these grades went up. Then I wondered if these varying ideas I could come up with would help me in the once dreaded discussions. Very quickly I learned that all I had needed was to open up the innovative part of my mind, which prolifically altered my discussion scores for the better. Of my blogs, since the very beginning, there are two that really stand out to me. One is the one on the poem "Lobsters." I touched on some different ideas in this that don't seem to be mentioned much or at all by my peers. I also just really like how I wrote this one. The other blog that really stands out to me is the blog in which we related Great Expectations to any other art type thing we've seen. I really enjoyed this blog because it connected the novel into my world, and I was able to implement some creativity and abstract connections in it. Both of which I like writing. Reminiscing upon this year I see how the blogs, whether directly or secondarily, influenced my personality. I think that they have made me think even more creatively and out of the box. I have gained a heightened respect for many novels, seeing how complex some really are. I can't say I won't miss these blogs, for I think in the long run they've really had a big impact on me as a writer, as well as a creative analytical thinker. That to me seems like somewhat of a paradox.

Memorable Assignment

Throughout English this year there have been many assignments which have been very creative and rather fun. Originally, I really didn't like the discussions because I rarely ever spoke. I think that was most likely caused by my lack of creative and thought provoking questions. That really changed for me in the Great Expectations discussion. Throughout this discussion I spoke a good amount, and actually had some good ideas for discussion. Because of all this, it made the discussion a more of an enjoyable assignment.

To make this discussion what it was for me, but in retrospect I did work very hard on my questions. I had realized that my questions previously hadn't been creative enough; they didn't make you think much. This time I spent a lot more time on each question; perfecting them to the best of my abilities. I tried to write questions that I thought would go along with the discussion, while bringing up some new ideas. At this point I realized just how helpful annotations are, because without them I couldn't look back on different ideas I had. All in all my hard work paid of in this whole assignment, making it more enjoyable for me.

Experience With Poetry

While reciting poetry may not be at all enjoyable to me, analyzing and writing it stands somewhat higher on my hierarchical ladder of English related studies. This year, reading some of Percy Bysshe Shelley's poetry really opened my eyes, showing me that poetry wasn't necessarily centered around love. I enjoyed reading Shelley's poems because in them he wrote many things which I like to think about, such as his sly ridicule towards authoritarian ruling. The writing style that he used really intrigued me as well, for he used a lot of sarcasm to convey more meaningful messages; a style I really like.

The different formats in which Shelley wrote his poems also intrigued me. I liked the fact that it wasn't a generic format, but a more creative one which seemed to have a different flow and rhythm. I think that from this experience I crawled a bit farther out of my shell of ignorance to the vast and creative world of poetry. It made me realize that anyone can write poetry; you just really need to write about what you know and like in a creative way conducive to a certain audience, or just yourself. Poetry seems like an art: if you like what you produce, great; if others like it, then that's a bonus. At this point in my life I respect poetry and poets, especially those who try to bring their poetry and writing into untouched places, like Percy Shelley; this action, however courageous, ensued with his banishment.

Conflict

     Internal conflict is one which I have taken note of numerous times throughout the reading of this play. While interpersonal conflict is far more prevalent, I find internal conflict much more intriguing. Juliet is a character in the play with constant, sometimes conflicting, thoughts drifting through her head; struggling with the notion of what's "moral" versus what she wants is an ever-present conflict in her. These abiding rows with herself begin to wear on her character, occasionally turning this seemingly composed figure into an emotional wreck. In Act 3 Scene 2, Juliet says "My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain,/And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my/husband. All this is comfort. Wherefore I weep then?" [115-118] Juliet is agonized by the notion of which she struggles: whether to side with her love, or her family. She is joyful of the fact that Romeo was not slain, however she laments over Tybalt's bereavement. This plays a crucial role in our understanding of Juliet's character; for it shows what really breaks her down, and also how rash she may be in her thinking, for in this same monologue of hers she wonders why her parents could not have been slain as well.
     Today, people still cope with internal indecision and conflict; however frivolous it may be, that who is struggling with it sees it with great importance. Internal conflict builds character, which is very influential on how others view one, and how that one views him/her self. While internal conflict doesn't have the power to make one who is narrow minded more open minded to others' views like interpesonal conflict does, it does have the power to show a person's ingenuity and coping skills; their ability to change and react in a positive way. However, it readily has the power to easily break people down, both mentally and physically. Everybody faces internal conflict, and I know that personally, I usually grow in character from the experience. I really think that one learns a lot about their own personality through these periods of their life, and it's an important aspect of growing up.

Romeo and Juliet Everywhere

     The themes of Romeo and Juliet prevail in many examples of modern art, whether subtle, or overpowering, or intentional, or merely coincidential. Either way, I believe my song of choice to compare with Romeo and Juliet has a meaning that parallels the relationship between Romeo and Juliet. The song "With or Without You" by the world-renowned U2 talks of a man who can neither live with this certain woman in his life, however, he can also not live without her; she is, in a sense, a double edged sword. Romeo can neither live with Juliet, or without her; for it has been foreshadowed his death will be a result of their relationship. However, it seems he cannot live without her; for, through his dramatic rantings, he talks of how he can only be happy with this woman. So, in a sense, he can't live without her, for he would become a recluse in his "fake night." Whether this connection is merely coincidential or intentional, I will never know, but either way these two concepts tie together quite well, showing that even know people have similar issues to those of people during Shakespeare's time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzeDqRhM09w

Comparison of the Play to Me

In this eloquent, yet somewhat confusing play, I find myself most similar to the Prince or Mercutio. The Prince ends the fight in the beginning of the play; I feel like that is similar to me, for I do not like fighting and I usually try to keep the peace wherever I am. Mercutio is the one who sarcastically pokes fun at Romeo's exceedingly dramatic monologues. I think I am somewhat of a sarcastic person, especially towards those who seem to leave a trail of drama wherever they go; I don't see the point in it and I just think it's silly.

I really like every aspect of reading the play at home, and following it up with your knowledge of the play the next day, it really helps me to understand some scenes that are originally so confusing. At home I understand the bullk of everything happening, but then when we read it during class the next day I feel enlightened by seeing new double meanings or puns that Shakespeare so often uses; and so often that I don't catch while reading at my house. Initially, Shakespeare's writing was quite overwhelming to me, but as I've kept reading it has gotten surprisingly easier to understanding. I think I'm saying this of behalf of the class as well: Thank you for letting us read this in class, it helps so much.

Theme

     Times may come and go, but meaningful messages about life will always remain engraved in our minds. In Great Expectations, the dominating theme that money doesn't buy happiness, or love, is intertwined in the morals of many people today, as it was when Dickens wrote this novel. While this ideal is known, it is clear that not everyone takes it into account as a part of their life, both in our times and those of Dickens' lifetime. Those of "gentlemanly" stature are sometimes likely to become swayed by their portable property, loosing sight of of the important things in life. The word 'gentleman' usually comes with a positive connotation, so the irony is the behaviors and morals of these "gentlemen" are not gentlemanly at all, but rather irresponsible and immature. While money may buy materialistic items that make one happy for a temporary amount of time, it cannot buy permanent happiness in the forms of love or other major emotions.